We’re less connected in real life and more connected with an interface. People are increasingly stressed and anxious. Including myself. There is a clear connection and I need to do something about it. 

I’ve been working with social media since 2006 – that’s round about 13 years. Locked infront of a computer or the phone. And the apps that “help” us connect, be heard and seen have developed methods to keep us on the phone non-stop. I’m hooked on Instagram stories for example. It’s the only way I can with certain know if my message is being viewed. And since my personal brand is as important as my business – I’m constantly on Instagram.

What’s the status of me this moment?

I’m now finding myself with a nagging anxiety and developing arthritis in my body. Especially in my fingers and hands. This physical issue means I can’t continue as I’m used to. My body is blocking me from social media. I’m not saying it’s all due to my usage of social media. There are a few other things I need to deal with ahead related to mind-stuff and emotions. And I got to thinking:

Does it have to come to this for me to realise I need to stop this irrational behaviour on social media and find other ways to do business? Or at least to re-route my usage of social media in a more deliberate way? Not to use it as it were a slot machine at the casino.

I just read an article by David Sibbet where he ponders about the new app-life. Uber and AI. The possibility that we’ll have self-driving cars and we won’t have to talk to the driver anymore. He concludes with:

Something at the center of our life as social animals may be at risk.

I can relate all too well to this line of thinking. I’m already feeling it in so many levels. This loss of social connection. Not only is this physical nuisance happening to my body now – I’m somewhat here blaming our new habit of texting each other all the time instead of calling or meeting in person – but foremost how our social life has changed. How we have become less human. Less connected – in real life.

I’m not gonna all together bash on social media or the digital world here because there are many instances where we’ve advanced and social media can be helpful. But it’s just overwhelming now. Have you for example heard about an actual medical condition called “texting-thumb” or “selfie-elbow”?

Selfie elbow can occur when you frequently abandon favorable ergonomic positioning in the pursuit of finding the best angle for your next social media post. Shooting selfie after selfie can strain forearm muscles, resulting in trauma to the part of the tendon that connects to the elbow joint.  UT Southwestern Medical Center

Already 6 years ago, I had thoughts on how we’ll manage to balance technology and our lives in the future:

The future is here.

And now it’s even worse.

The average person sends more than 40 emails daily and spends dozens of additional hours per week texting. UT Southwestern Medical Center

Digital in the way of true human connection

Take dating.

Why spend x amount of hours swiping on Tinder to find the next date? I see people these days walking – even biking – while swiping. Hey cute guy, why don’t you just look up and there I am. Dare to see me. Say hi to me. Or at least give me the chance to say hi to you. People – including myself – don’t even dare to flirt anymore in real life. People (I’m generalising) have gotten used to having something in between. An interface that protects. To avoid the raw feeling of rejection.

Take work.

Why spend x amount of emails discussing a complication back and forth, instead of picking up the phone and calling? Or better yet: go over to your colleagues office and exchange 2 minutes of talking face to face instead of exchanging those 25 emails over 3 days.

That goes for our private life too.

When I see people discussing back and forth in the comments section on Facebook for example, or people who are in conflict and write each other lengthy messages on an app.. I wanna pull my hair out. Just pick up the phone (!) Meet each other. Talk to each other. For real.

It is so easy to write a nasty word. Or exaggerate. Or say things you don’t mean. When you’ve got the screen in between you and the other person: anything can be said. And too many times text messages are misinterpreted.

In general I feel we have gotten too used to sending text messages instead of talking with each other.

The way we communicate has become less social.

Social Media is not social. Because it is not human. You need a physical human being in front of you to be social. For real. You need that physical energy. You need to see the face. Listen to the voice. You need to feel the person opposite you. You need to connect to the person before you open your mouth. Good communication is based on human connection. Not knowledge on rhetorics. Not high IQ. Good communication is enabled by connection. Once you got those two in place. You can start collaborating. Without connection or good communication – teams won’t last.

We need to connect. On a human level. 

Collaboration and co-creation will save this planet. Seriously. It’s to that point. We need each other to grow and develop a sustainable society.

We are stronger together. But for that “strongness” to function, we need to lay the groundwork and that’s: connection & communication. And for that to happen – we need to be human. And meet. In real life.

I’m 40 years old now. Got my career behind me. Years of experience in various fields. Enough with the “you need to be someone, Mina”. It’s time for “just be, Mina.” (thank you Mirna).  I will just be and do things I truly love.

I’m pondering about dedicating the second part of my life to develop methods to help people be social again. Simply help humans be human again.

How?

One way that could be commercially prosperous, is organising meet-ups or conferences. The events world is exponential. People need more platforms to get out there and meet. But then what happens? How do you enable people to truly meet? Truly connect?

Well..

You gotta start with the individual. The individual needs to be able to connect with him or herself. And then connect with the other person.

So what can I do for a living that helps people connect with themselves and each other?

Finding what you truly love and making it a living

On several occasions these past years, I’ve had a few special – almost spiritual – moments, guided by different people. Lately it happened in Cologne in December 2018 with Kelvy Bird at the Generative Scribing training. And most recently in Berlin this June at TOA (Tech Open Air).

The Connected Business founders Mounira Latrache and Angel Hernandez hosted a workshop at the Forest Stage called “Finding your passion and purpose”. It was a meditative and inspirational workshop, where we got to reflect and journal. (It was the second time that I experienced a workshop including journalling. The first time was at the Generative Scribing course with Kelvy Bird.)

Towards the end of the workshop, Mounira posed the question: “What makes your heart shine?” And we were asked to write down the very first thing that came to mind.

I wrote one word.

Dance.

Just as “Dance” headlined my own generative scribe at the workshop in December with Kelvy. A summary from my own journalling on who I am and what my future will look like.

And now I have a wonderful idea on how to help people connect with themselves and connect with others. How to be human again.

I will do it with something I deeply love: TANGO.

I’m looking forward to developing methods and working with preventive health through tango and movement.

What about my current business?

Simply Draw it Big is still very much in operation and will continue to be so. Visual Thinking and Visual Facilitation goes hand in hand with being mindful and enabling good communication and collaboration. It’s just that I’m adding that very important part of life that needs to happen first: CONNECTION.

But first.. I need to get back my health. So the coming months I’m focusing on getting well both physically and mentally. And I’ll have some help on the way from my friends and the healthcare system in Sweden.

I almost can’t believe I just wrote those words. Me having mental health-issues? Arrghh.

Just a few months ago I wouldn’t believe you if you told me it would happen. Me? No way. I can handle myself. I’m fine. I do yoga. I’m happy. Soy feliz.

However. I’m not so fine. I’m way too stressed and this nagging anxiety needs to be gone. I can’t blame it on work. I can’t blame it on social media. I need to deal with some mind and heart stuff that has been closed down until now.  I’ve just opened the door to start letting it out.

I know now is the time to take the journey of the mind so I can find peace and be free.

You’ll be able to follow my process to some extent. I’ll soon share how you can access that journey. More likely through video as I shouldn’t be writing.

Love,

Mina